Happened during a recent meeting when da queen was already feeling in the doldrums.

"By right, this should work." opines one rank and file minion in a somewhat snark fashion.

All righty. Then by left, if it doesn't I will personally smack you with my perfectly manicured hands so damn fucking hard....till you can never, ever discern your right from your left again.

There are plenty of idiots who went to Cambridge. Just look at Lee Hsien Loong, Chan Chun Sing, Heng Swee Keat,....the list goes on for at least half a mile.

If limbu joins the PAP she promises not to rock the boat - she will just capsize it.

Limbu always love to watch the SEA Games coverage on TV, especially that of our toothless Lions football squad who never fail to deliver a comedy of a failure each time they step onto the pitch, with a tub of my favourite Garrett Popcorn in hand. Don't forget to let us down once again for Cambodia 2023 ya hear? ;)

"Okay I fast forward the video to you now hor...."

Limbu could swear her tits just shrank a full cup size after being accidentally privy to such atrocious English spoken by some high level banking executive. If anything his ass deserves to be fast forwarded off God's green Earth and rehabilitated in grammar school on another planet - preferably far, far away from da queen.

Seems like quite a few of the pappies are rather musically inclined - given their penchant for strumming the guitar, belting out classics and doing whatnot. Names like Lawrence Wong and Ong Ye Kung immediately come to mind; perhaps they could come together to form a boy band like One Direction, except theirs should be named No Direction.

Reality check: As far as guys are concerned, V-Day on 14 Feb ain't no mean no Valentine's Day, but Vagina Day. Give the girl some fucking flowers, and hope she will reciprocate by granting you access to her hole. Am I right or am I right?

"To avoid unwanted pregnancies it is best to stick to the big A."

Me: "Anal?"

"Erm, no. I was actually referring to abstinence."

Aiyah anal is way more fun lah. ;)

Fuck buddy no.3 claimed he's a musician.

"Just so you know, I play the violin."

"Really?"

"Yep, I specialize in G-strings heh."

OH FUCK OFF.

So limbu read that Pinky Loong flew all the way to Germany (on taxpayers' monies) to officiate at the launch of two new Sinkie submarines Illustrious and Impeccable......eh RSN you got it wrong liao lah, they should have been named Dishonourable and Profligate.

To that inconsiderate grandpa watching JAV on his phone with the volume cranked way up, limbu has just texted Jesus beseeching him to bless your tiko ass with an epic heart attack before you alight from the bus. Happy sudden death ah gong!

The fuck is this shit? Since when did customers suddenly become cashiers who have to take food orders?

Alamak, my handsome polis kor kor pengsan on the sidewalk! Someone call 995 right away!!!!!

Face it guys, YOU CAN NEVER WIN.

When limbu can run faster than an L-plate car, both driver and instructor ought to be slapped to wake up their fucking ideas.

"Daddy what is Marymount in Chinese?"

"没礼貌."

Aiseh limbu clap for you. 👏

Going to nap on this thing to chase away my serious Monday blues.....nobody fucking wake limbu up unless you want your eyes gouged out.

Limbu was browsing inside a 7-11 store when a flustered-looking couple entered, asking if pregnancy test kits were sold.

Fuck lah, one look at your husband's belly and I know for sure he is pregnant. There ain't no need to waste time nor money to test his ass.

In this world, there is no such thing as soulmates, only $oulmates.

"I am going to buy Lexus later...."

"Wah, you so rich sia!"

"Limbu is buying Lexus biscuits ya fucktard."